Often people attempt to live their lives backwards; they try to have more things, or more money, in order to do more of what they want so they will be happier. The way it actually works is the reverse. You must first be who you really are, then do what you really need to do, in order to have what you want.
Most people live according to the Do Be Have model- in order to have something, we must do, do, do, and then we’ll be successful. We’ve been taught this. For example, if we want to have career success, we must do something, like work 80 hours/week, and then we’ll be happy. This becomes a neverending treadmill of always needing to do more in the pursuit of happiness, which can lead us to stress and worry so much that we block potential possibilities.
Being Requires Reflection and Connection
In truth, if we stop the constant striving, worrying and planning every moment as a human doing, then life flows, and we can live more authentically, as the human beings we were meant to be. If we can take time to figure out our “why”, our purpose or intention, from a place of love and mindfulness, envisioning ourselves as happy, then the Universe will fill in the “how” and we can take advantage of opportunities as they come. Be first, then do, and you will have all that you need.
I’ve been thinking a lot about this since my trip to Brittany. I felt like more of a human being there and it was wonderful! I was relaxed and happy. My days flowed from one joyful moment to another… I enjoyed precious time with my daughter as we filled our senses with art, flowers, food and the beauty of the villages in the area, speaking a little French and connecting with locals who were more than happy to share stories with us. Yes it was vacation and we had no real “to do’s”, but we were present being as we were doing things.
“Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we’re supposed to be and embracing who we are.” ~Brene Brown
In Brittany, I was living authentically…I was being me. I vowed to keep this feeling when I got home- not to worry, or get caught up in other people’s treadmills, or spend my time doing things that don’t really matter to me. It has been a challenge, but I’m committed to making it part of my daily mindfulness practice to be more human. If I feel myself starting to slip into Eeyore mode, worrying about not getting enough done, or meeting people’s expectations, I go to my toolbox and choose from my energy boosters- meditation, yoga, walking, connecting with a friend, going to a music or dance performance, or going to my kitchen and cooking or baking something delicious…and pretty soon, I’m back in my flow, being me…
Be, Do, and Have…
What about you? Do you feel like a human doing or a human being? The choice is really always yours. Take some time to reflect and just be…Set an intention for the life you really want and take small steps towards it every day with messages of loving kindness to yourself…We can’t get away from doing things that need to be done, but we can come from a place of love and enjoy being while we’re doing.